Six Quick Tips Any Parent of a Teen Should Know…

1.) Leave denial at the door.  
2.) Talk with your teens about sharing with you their online passwords. 
3.) Befriend them on social networking sites like facebook and myspace. 
4.) Establish rules and limits to cell phone and internet activity. 
5.) Join an online parenting group. 
6.) Be the example.

1.)       Denial is not a river in Egypt.

                Denial is the most dangerous parental emotion.  Kids are dating at younger ages than ever before, and few are getting serious conversations at home about what good relationships look like. 

 
2.)       If your teen is online, you NEED to know their password.

                Parenting in a digital age is very difficult.  There is a fine line between being parent that monitors and being controlling.  Attemping to find that balance is essential to your teen’s safety.  Kids do not understand that anything they publish about themselves will exist forever.  One false step or misjudgment can affect them forever.  As parents, it is important to know what children are posting and what others are trying to communicate with them.  They may be having contact with dangerous people, they may be speaking inappropriately with their friends, or they may be the victim of an abusive relationship.  The truth is, we need to know.

3.)       If your teen is using Social Networking sites like myspace and facebook, join the sites yourself and become their friend.

                Make it a family project.  You will get direct access to what others can see about what your teen is posting.  But a few words to the wise, do not be a constant presence.  You do not have to post something on every one of their pictures, you do not need to write something on their walls everyday, you do not need to look like a parent, look like a friend.  Use facebook and myspace as a way to connect with your child’s other parents and weekly review the public content of your child’s profiles.  Join our parenting community at www.facebook.com/startstrongwichita  If you need help setting up a facebook account, ask your teen.  Do not hesitate to contact us and we will happily walk you through the setup.

4.)       Set boundaries for the times and places that teens can be on the cell phones and the internet.

                Teens are communicating digitally almost constantly throughout the day.  Some teens report texting over 1,000 times during a typical school day.  Some report messaging thru the internet until 3 or 4 in the morning.  This kind of behavior has to be monitored.  If they are in their room after 9pm, there is no reason they should be texting and messaging into late hours of the night.  Late night cyber activity invites mischievousness.   SEXTING has become a common vocabulary word among today’s youth.  Ask them what it means and use the conversation as an avenue to have your child set their own boundaries.  Collect their phones at a set time, let’s say 8pm.  If they need to get a hold of you, they can just walk to your door.  You also need to monitor the messages and the content to ensure they are not being the victim or the perpetrator of dating abuse, harassment, or exposed to sexually provocative content.

5.)       Build an online parenting community.

                You won’t be the only parent enforcing these rules.  You won’t be the only parent online with your kids.  You won’t be the only parent knowing your teens passwords.  You are not the ‘uncool’ parent if everyone is also doing it.  These communities can be great resources for communicating strategies that other parents have used and worked.   www.startstrongwichita.org

6.)       Be the example.

                The conversations are not easy, but your teen is better off unhappy than unsafe.  Ultimately, violence prevention starts in the home.  Parents are still the most influential part of a teens core values.  Hopefully these tips provide you with your own framewok so you can set the boundaries, follow the tenants, and help us prevent violence in our community at your home. 

Thank you for being the first and strongest line of defense.
A message from The Start Strong Wichita Team

Start Strong Wichita is part of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and is the largest initiative ever funded to prevent dating violence in kids 11 to 14.  For more information on us, our mission and our projects visit us online at www.startstrongwichita.org or become our friend on facebook, myspace, or youtube (Start Strong Wichita) and find out how you can help today.